Give Thanks You Don't Have These 7 Jobs
You might not have your dream job, but at least you’re not elbow-deep in cat food or sniffing car fumes all day—we hope. Happy Thanksgiving!
The Job: Canary in a Coal Mine
The Work: Canaries were once used to detect dangerous gasses in coal mines. As long as the canary kept singing, miners could keep mining. If the canary croaked, miners knew it was time to high-tail it.
The Drawbacks: The only indicator for your job performance is death by asphyxiation, so don’t hold your breath for that raise.
The Job: Crime Scene Technician
The Work: You arrive after the body is removed from the scene to remove any body fluids and tissues left behind.
The Drawbacks: Hope you have a strong stomach. You’ll be exposed to some pungent smells and gruesome stains. And let’s not forget the psychological toll.
The Job: Cat Food Quality Controller
The Work: Responsible for making sure cat food will catch a cat’s fancy. Testing includes sniffing for freshness and removing bones and gristle from the mixture.
The Drawbacks: Have you ever smelled canned cat food? Smells like an unidentifiable fish product that’s been rotting in the mid-day sun. Your sense of smell may never recover.
The Job: Toll Booth Attendant
The Work: Sounds simple enough: Take a ticket, exchange some money, press a button.
The Drawbacks: Claustrophobic working quarters, exposure to the elements, and the sweet aroma of car exhaust. Plus, you’re constantly in fear of being replaced by a machine.
The Job: Work Mule
The Work: Lugging stuff around—all day long—in the sun and rain.
The Drawbacks: Everyone expects you to do the heavy lifting—and you’re constantly getting poor marks on your performance review for being “too stubborn.”
The Job: Brazilian Mosquito Researcher
The Work: Brazilian Mosquitoes need to be caught and studied, and unlike other mosquito species, they aren’t attracted to light or wind traps. The result? Researchers must set themselves out as bait at night and catch the little buggers in the act.
The Drawbacks: Better stock up on calamine lotion. Calling out sick due to overwhelming itchiness is not an option in this line of work.
The Job: Working in Antarctica
The Work: There are two main types of jobs in the polar desert: scientists and support staff.
The Drawbacks: You thought the Northeast suffered seasonal depression. After six months of daylight, you’ll endure six months of darkness, average annual temperature is −70°F, and with minimal moisture in the air, you’ll be constantly battling dehydration.